As we all know, the world of casinos and gambling is steeped in all sorts of shadowy mystery. Why, I can hardly log onto a casino these days without being flanked on all sides by spies, double agents, and suspicious women wearing sexy red dresses.
As such, there are many barely acknowledged secrets about the gambling world, many of which could dismantle the very fabric of space and time if ever learned. Being aware of this, and eager to hasten the dismantling of space and time, I decided to list some of these secrets here, for all to see.
Beware, reader, once knowing these secrets, you cannot unknow them, adding you to the web of shadows, which will surely consume your life.
So, for real, here are some gambling secrets that might help you. Enjoy!
Discipline Is The Real Key
Now, being good at gambling is certainly a good idea. Getting strategy guides, learning the ins and out, and practising all help. But all the practice and skill in the world are no substitute for simply having self-discipline. Virtually every gambling guide in the world should have the words “take the winnings and go” stencilled in bright red letters across every single page.
It’s as easy as that; take the winnings and go. Got it? Great. Now you’re a casino game God and can have a statue of yourself erected in every casino across the world.
Yes, I’m aware that you’re probably half smirking to yourself now, thinking that I don’t understand how gambling works. But, hush for a moment, and reread my words of shadowy casino game wisdom; take the winnings and go. Shhh, just go think about it for a while.
Keeping Records Is Essential
I’m so completely 80s movie badass that when I gamble, I don’t even care about the specific numbers involved. It gets me chicks.
You know who said that and didn’t immediately get struck down by the Stupidity Police? No one, ever. If you want to play casino games seriously, and come out on top, managing your money wisely is almost as important as exercising self-discipline. What’s that? It’ll make you feel like a nerd? Don’t make me strike you down.
Seriously, it’s very easy to keep track of your money, will add a sense of purpose, will allow you to set goals, and know when you’re behind, and should maybe ease up. And likewise, when you’re ahead, and can go out for a celebratory cocktail. Keeping track just makes serious gambling better in every department.
Emotional Gambling Is For The Weak
I’m so 80s movie badass that I just threw down half my bankroll on a single, outrageous roulette bet. It gets me chicks.
What, again? Are you trying to make me wear out my stupid person slapping hand?
Okay, yes, there is a certain amount of fun to be had making crazy bets, and just seeing what happens. It gets the heart going, makes the blood race, and impresses probably no one. But still, it can be fun.
A person taking gambling seriously, however, will know that the practice is certainly not the right place for random, emotional behaviour. Casino games take focus, sound thinking, and a solid grasp of the risks involved. Think smart, stay calm, follow the plan, and impress people instead by paying for a round of drinks with money won.
Abandon Your Superstitions
I probably don’t have to tell the majority of sound thinking people this, but superstitions are about as useful as a twice-dropped ice cream. You might believe it’s quirky to have superstitions, and that they give you character, but really now; a deck of cards is hardly going to bow to your four-leafed clover charm and reshuffle itself.
Very simply; superstitions melt in the face of real, well thought out gambling strategies. There is just simply no other way to put it. Put down the lucky charms, pick up a book, and make the transition from casino game helpless rider, to casino game sly wrangler. You’ll be asking yourself why you hadn’t a long time ago.
Did I Mention Discipline Is Key?
So, remember all the secrets I just told you? You do? Great, now keep in mind that all of them are useless unless you have self-discipline. The day you learn to cash out your winnings the moment you are ahead, bank them, and buy a sandwich, you have become master of casino games.
No, you don’t have to wait for the “big win.” You can cash out even if it’s a modest win. That’s the whole trick of the system, don’t you see? Simply cash out when you’re a little ahead, and you’ll never lose at casino games again. But also; practice never hurt your chances of getting a little ahead.